You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
