I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
