I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
