Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
