I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
