I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i drank out of a bidet.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
