We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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