areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
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