Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
