JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
