his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
