I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
