she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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