he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
