im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
