Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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