very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
one two three fourrrrnication!
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
