Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
