idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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