She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
