So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Randomize
