whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
