My liver just broke up with me...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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