shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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