I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
