I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
