Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
