i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize