so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
