you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
