I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
