He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
