shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
