We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
