People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
