Kareoke will never be a sober sport
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
