It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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