We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize