Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
