PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
