No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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