The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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