all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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