I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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