nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize