Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
My vagina is officially offended.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
