I accidentally burped into my bong.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
