i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
