U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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