why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
