she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
This is my gift to your gina
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize