I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
he puts the penis in happiness.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
