hotel room ftw
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
