I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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