We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
