you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
