I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
