in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
