Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize