This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Are we still banned from the library?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
