u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
