heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Everclear isn't food dammit
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
