I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
