Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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